Diary 5

Sometimes my brain will automatically blank for a while, and i started to think about u.
Is it feeling for one person will change when it's too long not able to meet each other or date each other out,  will a person changed bcs of someone who's taking care of him or her so much instead yourself. Will he / she feel more comfortable with someone who can always stick with them no matter they're already taken.
Love can't control someone or keep someone staying for their entire life with u.  But love can makes someone feel better when staying besides with their loved one, so they will choose to stay instead of leaving.
I hope that we have more time to spent with each other, chit chatting with each other, gossiping about other partners, enjoy our show or movie tgt, sleeping besides each other every night , wake up in the morning and give u a morning kiss, wish u have a good day. Preparing foods for u. Endlessness conservation with u. Playing around with each other.
I love you, we met each other in a few unique way. We understand each other well, we will remind each other naturally stop doing or practicing the bad habits we possess for such a long time like not to think or keep urself awake while u are driving , have ur meal on time. I already get used to be by ur side, always remind or chatter you endlessly, but then the days without you, I feel uncomfortable.

I don't care how people think about me, I have a clear mind I won't get lost in the right path, I won't do things that might hurt myself so deeply. I'm have my own plan for my future. I want to live happily and stay with my family and loved one.
I have to be professional and make sure that I can treat myself , family and loved one better than now.

30 of november, is a great day for me.
Zac confessed to me in his car after we done our brunch. I can see how serious he is when he's talking to me and asking me will you be my girlfriend, joane?
I was very nervous at that time and i afraid to look into his eyes cause i am shy and he was so serious.
and i received the flowers from him. I was very gan dong. he hold my hand after i accepted his confession. i never know and expect that i have this kind of confession from someone in my life, but it is real. we hold each other tight and we addicted to it. no matter how far we went, we still keep holding each other hand. and we watched the fantastic beast together i put my head on his shoulder and he grabbed my hand so tight. He sent me back after the movie was ended.
Thanks god , for being so kind to me. i will cherish what i have now until the end of my life.

:)

I knew someone for this past few weeks, he named as Zac.
He is the one who helping me to not feel upset for him ( CK ) anymore, he accompanies me everyday by calling me almost all the nights in my daily life. I feel so happy to know him and i think that god gave me a chance to let me move on.
He is a doctor and is waiting for his posting. He is 24 years old. He is an IMU students before he graduated in his college life.
This few days, i am thinking about if i have the chance to have a future with him?
i found myself gradually depends on him and will afraid of losing him in my life.
But if he really disappeared then how? i am asking to myself a few times.
I hope i can catch his attention and become the one who is important to him.
but i think that I  am not good enough to be with him, he deserves someone who has the same status as him in his life and is able to take good care of him. NOT like me,
He will not have free time after he got his posting, he will seldom text me and this time worst things will happen like he will meet someone in his working area. I cannot avoid those things happened cause we stay at different places and doing different things.
Zac, if you are the right person to me, please just stay. I will cherish you all the time. I will appear when you needed me the most.